Transitions

This is how it goes. You have anxiety out in public, so you don’t go out in public, because you start anticipating the anxiety before you’re even out in public. So you stay home. And you’re by yourself. And even though you’ve completed a year of therapy and continue to go, to help this transition go more smoothly, you start telling yourself things you promised to never say anymore. You’re not good enough. You’re lazy. You’re fat. You snack too much. You aren’t productive enough. You have too much anxiety to get anything done. People don’t like you. People think you are weird. Your friends are just friends with you out of convenience. And these things start to become true to you. And it makes you sad, so you make them truer. I wish I could just tell myself, “you’re you, you’re different, and it doesn’t matter why, it matters what you do with that.”