Obscene remarks

I have been in an absolute piss-ass funk of a mood lately. Excuse my vulgarity, but it's true. While you would have found me during the first half of the year as an easygoing ho-hum girl who liked to take things as they are and not freak out over the details (just read my upbeat and positive early blogs), I'm now finding myself to be frustrated to high heaven and highly irritable by anything that doesn't fit into my structure of "how things are." This is not a new place for me to be. In fact, it was my mood of choice throughout most of high school and my early twenties. So how did I get sucked back into this habit of needing control and things to be done my way? What makes it even worse is that being in this state of mind in turn makes me extremely uncomfortable and I then become even more irritable. Poop.

To make things even more interesting, I'm taking the GRE tomorrow and was a stupid girl and put off studying until mostly the last minute and am frustrated by ridiculously worded math questions. And frustrated with myself for not staying motivated to complete something very important to accomplishing my goals. I told myself when I started this blog I wouldn't have pity party posts, but this mood calls for a freebie. Poop, poop. What would early 2009 Kimberly tell late 2009 Kimberly?

Getting back on the bike

The BLOG bike, that is! Even though I did get back on Mrs. Tibbles (my Specialized Rockhopper) only two days after the big MS bike ride. In fact, surprisingly, Mike and I rode our bikes after arriving by bus (from Lake Sonoma where we finished the ride) back at the start location to BART in San Francisco and then from BART in East Bay to home, a feat I never thought my butt would let me do. Those sit bones were ACHING! I'm also grateful that our fellow teammates, Mike Trumpis and Suzanne Beahrs, who had a car for their own bikes and gear, took our big packs and dropped them at home, thus letting us perform the amazing sore-butt-bone-defying feat free of enormous packs of tent, sleeping bag and accessories.

This past weekend really has been the biggest highlight of the past couple of weeks, particularly because I was so nervous about completing it. I felt less in shape this year than last and I've also been getting over a nasty cold that has left a residual cough. It started raining on Day 2, also, which seemed to exacerbate some of my symptoms. But I proved my worrying to be pointless because not only did I finish just fine (not without a tremendous amount of determination and hardwork though), but also finished the entire 75 miles on Day 1. Last year, we stopped at around 52 or so, riding a SAG vehicle to the overnight. I also had stopped to walk my bike up a couple portions of hills on highway 1 through Muir Woods last year. I really had been disappointed with myself since then and so finishing naturally this year without any car transportation or bike walking really brought the tears of pride early on.

Well enough about the bike ride. I've probably been rambling enough about it on facebook for what seems like forever. But I will just add one more thing. I'm still raising money for another month, so if anyone would still like to donate to a great cause to raise awareness and improve research for multiple sclerosis, then please give me a shout out, or go to the "Bike MS Waves to Wine" box on the left side of my facebook profile. It's really the most amazing event I've participated in to date, honestly, and that's why I can't shut up about it.

In other news, I took a trip to the Pacific Northwest for nearly 3 weeks in August and had such an amazing time, I'm starting to consider moving there again. And before anyone freaks out, let me explain that I'll be moving away anyways if I get into a grad program, and Western Washington is a lot closer than New York. Being in Bellingham again, though, just made me realize how little of that town I actually experienced while there as an 18-19 year old and how I couldn't even tell my friends who drove me up from Seattle where the good beer is! I was quiet, shy, reserved and rather boring when I live there 8 years ago. I worked at Old Navy at the mall and believed that when one wanted books and coffee one goes to Barnes & Noble and Starbucks. I didn't really make any friends other than a few girls I met at the summer camp I'd worked at that first summer living there. I also technically didn't live in Bellingham, but in Deming, thirteen miles east. But there is so much to explore and discover still in this town! I'd really love to experience it again as I am now, a bit more outgoing, more adamant about independent businesses, and definitely a beer drinker.

Portland also requires more exploration and discovery. The only time I really spent in the thick of things was in downtown, around where Powell's is (which is breathtaking and nearly heartstopping, though that may have also been the incredibly rich Voodoo donut I had), and was so polished I nearly forgot I was in a big city. And yet, for a big city, it didn't seem to have many people in it at all. I also took in a Goonies tour out on the coast in Astoria, which, though fun, it was MORE fun to watch the movie again afterwards and cry out, "I was there!" AND there!"

Seattle, as well, is so huge I couldn't possibly see much in just two days. It would certainly be nice to be close to all that jazz. I stayed a night in Redmond with my sister's friend Trevor and wife Lisa and new baby and when Lisa mentioned Snoqualmie Falls (aka Twin Peaks Falls), I immediately knew that we had to go on a Twin Peaks tour. What we couldn't take in that evening, we had to go out again for the next day, and that included the "damn fine cup of coffee" and slice of cherry pie a la mode at Twede's (aka the double R diner) in North Bend. Heavenly!

My brother, Daniel, lives in Seattle, too, when not working for the National Parks. He's working at Mt. Rainier right now and I got to spend a week with him and his girlfriend, Kelsey, up on the mountain. It is beautiful there, if not a little damp. I went for a hike my second day there during which I don't think it stopped raining, drizzling, or misting once. I missed out on spectacular views of the mountain, but all the wetness made the flowers and bushes and trees glimmer like gems, just like these lupine leaves below.

At one point towards the last 3 miles of the hike, a descent on endless switchbacks took me back and forth down an entire hillside of meadow wildflowers. It was a sea of red, yellow, purple and green all dancing under the weight of raindrops. I had to keep stopping just to observe the hectic dance, each flower with its own moves, and listen to the faint static of soft rain. I have to admit, it made me cry just a little to be surrounded by such beauty. That's another reason why I love Washington so much. I actually miss the rain, the damp trees, the rushing rivers, the whispering mist. I remember the first day it snowed. I was upstairs in my room on the computer, and it had been pouring all day, when suddenly it was dead quiet and I knew exactly what had happened. I rushed downstairs and threw open the door and ran out to catch the snowflakes. It didn't stick that day, but I still had to call my mom to share the news. Later in the season, when the snow finally did stick, I remember silent white nights where even with no moon it was bright enough to throw a frisbee around.

Now that I'm home I've been attending classes, looking for a job, and getting ready to volunteer at the high school as a Writing Coach. I'm also still working at the Sleep Lab, though I've only been in one more time after my first shift. Things are a little slow, so here's my shameless plug. If anyone in the Bay Area has or knows of someone that has insomnia and is over 25 years of age, let me know, I'll get you the info to take part in the study! Oh yes, and I'm taking the GRE a week from Saturday. I have not studied much at all, shame on me. But I'm cramming. And with that said, I guess you won't be hearing from me again for AT LEAST a week and a half. ;-)