Dreams

I had an endless line up of dreams last night all the way up to my alarm. Okay, actually all the way past two snoozes, then turning it off completely, and getting up for work an hour and a half late. It was like ABC's TGIF night, but without ordering pizza.

Every so often, I have these "slews" of dreams, and they usually are what makes me late in the morning. I just have to see what happens next! And of course, most of the time, if I try to fall back asleep to conclude the previous dream, I end up having an entirely new one that I absolutely have to find out what happens next in. I think that might be a result of my dreams tending to be about me A) trying frantically to find something in a very disorganized room, B) searching for or running from someone in a building with maze-like hallways and staircases, or C) having some sort of social interaction in which something needs to be resolved between me and the person. This makes absolute sense, because if I were doing any of those things in real life, you better believe I'm going to be late for work. :-P

The most prominent dream came right before I woke up the first time, probably shortly before my alarm went off. I was walking down the street with a group of friends that included my brother's girlfriend, Emelia. We saw a short distance away a woman in her late forties or so close to tears and clutching a watering can. Some people in our group started to make jokes about why and then turned down another street, but I hung around and Emelia stayed with me. I walked over to the woman and asked her, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can get you? Soup or soda? Anything?" She said it was awfully kind of me and that she could really go for a charbroiled something or other (I can't quite remember). I said I'd go get that for her, but before leaving I asked her if she wouldn't mind telling me what was going on. Clutching the can even more tightly, she said she just lost her husband and the service was going on inside the building she was facing. She started bawling so I just wrapped my arms around her as tightly as I could, and as she buried her face in my shoulder, she sobbed and rambled and mumbled and sniffled. I thanked her for sharing and then, and this is the part that I can't figure out, I took a drink from her watering can. I said I would be right back with, and I had to ask what she wanted again, a charbroiled something or other, but she said I didn't need to do that, but that it was awfully kind of me to offer. We looked at each other, I offered another hug which she accepted, and after a few moments she quickly turned to leave, sans watering can. I went back to Emelia, who had watched the whole thing, and she said, "She is sooooo pissed at you for getting her to open up to someone." I looked back and the woman was nearly 25 years younger and was just linking arms with a young guy and they walked off together. I told Emelia, "Maybe she is pissed now because she doesn't want that guy to see her upset, but she was not pissed just now in the moment."

I've been told that the best way to interpret dreams is to see every aspect of the dream as an aspect of yourself. And that aspect could be anything from external information you have taken in from movies and other media or walking down the street or being with friends to internal thoughts and opinions and interpretations about those experiences. For instance, if you see your friend, Charlie, it could represent not just Charlie, but all your own thoughts, memories, and opinions about Charlie and what Charlie means to you. The last time I interpreted a dream that way, it was a very intense, violent, and graphic dream (let me know if you want to hear about that one-the teaser is giving birth out of my thigh), and once I made the self-centric interpretation, I felt it made a lot of sense and was less scary. This dream wasn't scary, just a new topic for me. I don't know that I've made many empathetic approaches to people in need in my dreams, at least not on this scale.

My best conclusion is that the dream symbolizes my recent developments in emotional intelligence, an area I have been experiencing difficulty in for a number of years. (I don't want to go on too much of a tangent, but for context, Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence, explains that "emotional intelligence is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.") If I view every aspect of the dream as an aspect of myself, I think my dream expresses my growing capacity to manage feelings, and for the following reasons. First, I approached the woman, or myself in this sad state, regardless of other friends making jokes about her; they represent my own negative thoughts about whether or not this is an acceptable state to be in or whether I have a good reason to be sad or not. Secondly, I offered her soup or soda, something that might take care of her physical needs. People in extreme emotional states can forget about hunger, thirst and tiredness while getting caught up in their mind. I also offered her consolation in the form of a hug and allowed her to let out tears and words, even if I couldn't understand them. This allowed the feelings to just be, instead of trying to make logical sense of them. The watering can that she clutches to so tightly must be the ability to heal or grow, which she has at hand but hasn't used yet. I end up personally drinking from it, possibly to draw the connection that my healing is her healing. She has lost her husband. I take this to represent the many things coming to an end in my life right now, particularly my job, that I have not yet mourned over completely, though others around me are doing so and moving on. Once I gave myself consolement and support and drank the healing elixir (that makes me laugh just typing it-see? I laugh at myself a lot :-P) , I move on, even look 20-25 years younger, which from late forties is about my age now. Emelia, who is present I think because she has qualities I admire and wish to emulate, because we have been "studying" similar topics as of late, and I also know her to be a supportive companion, asked a question that reveals my self-doubt and fear in offering such empathy to a stranger, that they would not appreciate it. I respond with confidence that I remember the minute before when she was sincerely bawling her eyes out and mumbling into my shoulder, and I know she is grateful, content, and able to move on.

My other dreams consisted of a Cylon staircase chase, a pink sweet sixteen dress with attached necktie, roller coaster amusement park parking lot tram, a plastic bowl of leftover thai coconut soup, and a few others whose details have blurred into oblivion. Needless to say, they were not as revealing as this one.